I haven’t died, I promise….

However, I am re-learning there just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want and need to do.

(On a related note: I also had my 32nd birthday and have proven to myself that I can no longer, in fact, live off caffeine alone.)

My seeds are planted, some of them, and I have made the heart-wrenching decision to stop roleplaying in the Facebook Star Wars community. It’s just not fun anymore.

However, as soon as I posted that decision, an odd sense of catharsis settled over me. A few tears, a quiet discussion with The Kilted One, and it was done. I feel like I can fully focus on Stormtouched now, in a way I hadn’t been able to for quite a while.

I love Bella and Umbra and Miras and the Drayvens, and they will always be a part of me.  Their active time, though, is over. Maybe some day I will finish Bella’s novel, maybe I won’t.

I sat down for the first time this year and really watched my Stormtouched  characters, wrote a couple of hundred words, found my major sticking point and am looking for a way around it. I think it may come easier now that my creative attention isn’t being pulled in as many directions.

I haven’t been hit with any lightning bolts yet, but they are forecasting a storm for tomorrow night.

Here’s hoping.

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7 Responses to I haven’t died, I promise….

  1. seastruckbythecrossroads says:

    I understand you. I used to be really passionated about writing fanfiction and really prolific and active in the fandom community. It was very hard for me to ax off that part of me when I decided i had to invest full time into original writing and that was the major attention/energy-diverter from it (also it was a time where my main group was getting really nasty and i was not feeling like investing in a new one just to rish a repeat). It helped tremendously to finish the first novel although I occasionally still miss the instant gratification I got from it. 😉

    • scoutlady13 says:

      I will miss it as well. I’ve met some truly wonderful friends, some people who have inspired my writing by giving me the inspiration for minor characters who will die in hilarious and humiliating ways, and some people who have showed me the infinite variations in the key of “fan”.

      But when I can listen to the amazing, powerful soundtrack to Revenge of the Sith and no longer get chills or see my characters plotting and scheming to further their ends, but see my own spitefulness and anger at other authors clouding the scene, it is time to move onward.

  2. ladyimbrium says:

    I hope you finish Bella’s novel! I’ve read the bits and pieces you put up on the FailBook and it’s pretty damned awesome. Of course, I think all of your writing is pretty damned awesome.

    I’m drafting my RP retirement as well. You’re right: it’s not fun anymore. I think I’ll let my Sith Sorceress turn into a spirit guardian of the old temple and let newbies come steal artifacts from me. Let’s me stay in the game without having to deal with as much drama.

    • I’m not entirely sure if I should write her retirement or just walk away entirely. Part of me suggests I should divvy up the Erisian goodies, but that would imply I still care. I will admit I still have a somewhat confusing demi-vendetta against someone, and I think I need to get that sorted first….

      Or I go play in a sandbox that doesn’t have quite so many prima donnas. Metaphors, I can haz mix them.

      • ladyimbrium says:

        It’s your character. Do what you want. I’m about done with my epic break-all-the-rules-but-I-don’t-care scene into semi-retirement. No fair taking away the Temple and our fanon planet since I’ll still be using them.

      • No worries! Erisia, the Temple, and Khador are safe. All fanon is sacred! The rest can rot.

        Sent from my MOTOROLA ATRIX™ HD on AT&T

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